loved by Rhonda Sage
Sundance, my Beautiful Golden Retriever. You have been like the son I never had. You made my life worth living when I didn't think I wanted to live any more. We went through some very hard times together. It hurts so very much that I feel like my chest is being squeezed when I think of you.
When I first bought you from your parents breeders I planned on you being my grandson's dog. Dominic and Jared did not get to know you for very long before we lost both of them--and you know how much that hurt better than any other living soul, except maybe your side kick, Pepper. For a while it was just you, Pepper, & I. I really didn't want to face the next day. But I had to, because I had to take care of you and Pepper. And you took care of me.
I will never forget how proud you would be when you would help me to carry in the groceries, or when you would walk backwards with that really cute, funny look on your face. I remember how you saved that baby kitty. You went under a trailer house and brought out a tiny baby kitten that couldn't be older than a couple weeks. You dropped that kitten into my hands. He was spitting mad and very frightened, but you never put a mark on him. I remember you sharing your doghouse with him and I remember how he tried to nurse and suckle you--and he would knead you with his paws and claws. And you would look at me as if to say, "Mom, do you see how tiny he is?" "What if I squish him?"
I will never stop feeling a great loss when I think of you not being with me any more. My heart aches. Life is going to be different without you. I'm really gonna miss you. I promise my love for you will never end. You helped me through losing my mom to Alzheimer’s and you helped me when Perky died--remember what a good little ball player she was? Then you were there with Sally and Feather as Pepper became ill and you helped me when I had to let him go.
I am so sorry Sundance that I couldn't stop what was happening to you. You got sick and you went away so fast I hardly had time to understand that you were never coming back. I am so sorry I had to leave you at the vets on your last day. I stayed with you, sitting inside the kennel for as long as I possibly could and I didn't want to go until they gave you the anesthesia, but I had to. I will never forget your lips quivering with fear. I know how much you hated the vets and how scared you were, but if we didn't do the surgery there was no way to find out what was wrong with you. I really believed you would be all right. I just couldn't believe it when they told me you were gone. You had intestinal cancer and it spread so fast there was no way to save you. I wish I would have known you were going to get this disease. I would have done everything possible to prevent it. You were only 8 yrs old and people say at least you weren't real young and I just look at them and wonder why they think 8 is old. It's not old. I miss you so much. Sally misses you. She is lonely. We still go for walks to the ballpark. I found a ball that you must have missed. I think you found all of the others that people have lost. I still take Sally to run at the lake. And Star still plays with her, but it's not the same without you. You know you were Star's best playmate and Sally's better half. And you were my best friend. You were buried in the pet cemetery in the back of the property. You are next to Pepper, and of course Perky and Suzie are there with you. I have taken the crosses down and have repainted them so they would be fresh and new with yours. I have new bouquets of silk flowers. Blue for the boys of course, but Perky and Suzie still get the pink. Sally has finally figured out that you are not going to get out of the car when I come home. I will always miss the way you loved watermelon. You really loved it sometimes I think more that real meat. I will never forget you. I'm really gonna miss you. I Love You with All My Heart! Mom
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